Why freelance?

There is this notion held by some that Christians are generally tied to a particular church, usually the one they attend on Sundays. I was one of them for most of my youth. In retrospect, more of this attachment was for convenience, as my friends were all there and there was this inherent normality in the way of Christian living when I have near-exclusive membership with one church.


However as the years passed my faith developed and my world view broadened, I not only realised there were millions of churches out there, but there were also thousands of variations of major Christian denominations (not including the 'offshoot' ones), which causes both dialogue and debate about all sorts of socio-political issues such as authenticity versus relevance of doctrine. This raised many serious questions during my undergraduate years, when I relocated to another city and 'had to' find another church to attend. 


With so many denominations and deviations within the global church, I felt I did not belong to any of them. If Christianity is about our personal relationship with God, I want it to be just that. Indeed there is many supposed benefits to attending church such as mutual accountability, fellowship and growth, and even Apostle Paul (in the bible) encourages us to "not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing" (Hebrews 10:25). 


However, from my experience of church it seems to be fairly hit or miss; sometimes certain members are neglected/excluded because he doesn't 'blend in', the sermons are often more focused on personal morality than social awareness, the bible studies are quite shallow or 'safe' which leaves both the intellectual and mature unsatisfied. While most of these shortfallings are generally justifiable or overlooked for various reasons, I felt I needed to independently advance further if I am to deepen in my understanding of who God is and what His plan is. 


So now, I am a freelance Christian. I observe all the different sermons, discussions, debates and activities of the churches around me, be a helping hand where appropriate, but at the end of the day my allegiance is not with the physical church. My allegiance is with the mysterious creator, who cannot and should not be contained or summoned but may enter the hearts of those who seek Him. 


I hope that this freedom will enable me to have a deeper look into some of the more challenging questions about christianity (or theism in general), from issues of predestination versus free will to the classification of abortion or euthenesia as murder. And I guess I'll do it here in this journal.